Birthday Gift Ideas for the Disagreeable

If you have reached this page then you have either made a wrong click or you are looking for birthday gift ideas for a recipient who - shall we say - doesn't top your top 100 favorite people list. Sometimes the 'right' thing to do is to purchase a gift for this person, regardless of the fact that you can't stand them. Perhaps they are an errant in-law you are resigned to coexisting with in a mutual relationship based on dislike. Or perhaps they are a snarky friend-of-a-friend whose birthday you have been invited - nay dragged along - to. Alternatively they are simply someone you cannot stand, but social convention demands a gift be offered on the miserable anniversary of the day they were born. I have personally tested a great number of the birthday gift ideas outlined below.

A plastic bucket:
There is, a great deal of perverse satisfaction to be gleaned when the hapless recipient rips open the wrapping on their large gift, and finds inside a large plastic bucket. In this particular instance, said person went through a remarkable range of facial expressions and emotional contortions. Their reactions went from suspense, then to disbelief, followed by pondering (whether there was in fact another gift lying around), then consternation upon realizing this was in fact the gift. Said recipient managed a slowwitted 'thanks, a bucket' then beat a hasty retreat. And that was that. The bucket gift achieved the objective perfectly. A10 litre bucket (with handle and preferably a lid) makes a perfect gift for your disliked recipient. It meets the criteria for this type of gift giving perfectly. It is large, inexpensive, and will likely actually remain in use in said recipients home - thereby remaining a constant reminder of your utter disdain for them.

A magazine subscription:
This suggestion is listed in our 'good' gifts section of the website too. But if you are after a gift for the disliked, your best bet is to choose a magazine subscription for an inherently unsuitable magazine. Are they a sports jock? if so then perhaps a year long subscription to a home and garden magazine may be suitable. The key is to choose a title that is while inappropriate, not completely unreasonable. For instance a women's weekly tabloid magazine would be too obvious a choice. Another example, lets say you need a gift idea for a meddling middle-aged aunt. Perhaps a subscription to a parenting magazine would fit the bill (obviously it implying that she needs help in the parenting department). Like the bucket above, these birthday gift ideas keep giving throughout the course of the year. Your hapless recipient will continue to receive weekly or monthly reminders of you - and exactly what you think of them.

A framed picture:
Many people like pictures on their walls, and will display them prominently throughout their home. But what if your recipient receives a large picture, professionally framed and ready to hang - but that features a person such as Davy Crockett on it? Obviously social protocol suggests a received gift must be used and not simply tucked into the back of a wardrobe. So you could expect a fetching picture of Davy Crockett (or another equally pleasant character such as Richard Nixon), to be gracing their walls - starring at them each day.

A DVD movie:
Everyone likes movies, and everyone likes DVDs. If you are after a gift for the disliked, you can use this fact to your advantage. You could choose for instance a movie such as 'Deliverance' the classic 70's film about four men from the city who spend a weekend canoeing down a remote river - and who have very close encounters with hillbillies in the process. A movie like this is creepy and frightening - and is enough to put anyone off going into the woods again. These types of birthday gift ideas can be easily used to torment your recipient.

Lumps of charcoal:
Many people use charcoal for barbecues or domestic heating. Charcoal is a useful substance, even if not particularly clean burning. If you are after a quick, inexpensive gift idea, then wrap up a few lumps of charcoal in an envelope, tuck in a card and away you go. The recipient will assume the envelope is stuffed with money and will readily rip it open to unveil the black gold.

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